For the last few weeks, I have been working on something big. Before I get into the details, I did my 44th shot in my left thigh this week.
For the past month and a half, I have debated what I want to do with my life going forward. Even though I am fifty-four, I still consider myself young and feel I have many years ahead of me. The big question for me has never been whether I want to stop taking hormones or if I made a mistake transitioning. The answer to both those questions is an emphatic no. Every Sunday morning, when I wake up, I get excited because I get to give myself another injection. Every time I get my labs done, I get excited because I can now track my hormone levels and see the numerical progress I am making. The big question is, do I want to take the next step and look into the possibility of surgery?
For the last few weeks, I have been reading research and attending webinars about the surgical process from pre-consultation, insurance red tape, surgeries, and post-surgery care. About three weeks ago, I asked myself if this was what I truly wanted, what I hoped to accomplish, and how this would enhance my life if I decided to do the operation. Before answering those questions, I decided to look at the financial aspect. There is no way I could pay for the surgery out of pocket; I would be looking at 15k minimum if I am lucky. I contacted my CEO and asked her some questions that she then sent to the insurance reps. The answer I received was yes, it could be done, but there are many hoops to jump through. Now for those big questions, I did some soul searching, and I kept coming back to the same scenario: if I was thirty and not fifty-four, would I do the surgery? The answer I kept coming up with was YES, in a heartbeat. Will this change enhance my life? Once again, the answer is yes: the outside will match the inside, and the ability to see my body as it should be is exciting. Some might say that I am giving into vanity or being silly, and many will say no matter what you do; you will always be a man. The answer is, so what. I feel strongly enough that I am willing to put up with statements like those and go through a complicated surgery.
Even though I feel as strongly as I do, I still have many barriers in my way and many chances for reflection on moving forward. Below is a list of things I would need to do before surgery or, in a few instances, before a surgery date can be scheduled.
A letter of recommendation for surgery from my primary care doctor, who is prescribing my hormones. The letter includes:
- Preferred Pronouns
- Length of hormone treatments(must be at minimum one year)
- How long you have been living as your preferred gender
- Why the surgery is necessary
A letter of recommendation from a psychologist
A letter of recommendation from a therapist
Laser Hair Removal in the genital area (takes about six months).
Before surgery could be scheduled, I would need all three items. I have the first letter and I am working on my second two letters.
Once I have the consultations, the office will work with me and my insurance to get any necessary authorizations.
When all that is done, surgery can happen. A week before surgery, I would need to be onsite for labs and tests. When surgery happens, I would be laid up in the hospital for a few days and would have to come back weekly for three weeks afterward.
The clinic I am looking at is ten hours away, meaning I would need to rent a place and have someone come with me to take care of me. Thankfully, I have worked that part out.
As you can see, this is not an easy process, nor should it be; maybe a few fewer red tape items, but it does give a person a chance to reflect on what is best for them. I will post to my blog as I go through the different stages.
Alla Davis
