Yesterday, I administered my twenty-seventh shot in my left thigh. For the first time that I can recall, I bruised my thigh. The bruise is barely noticeable, but it is there. With this shot, I am two weeks shy of seven months. This process has been unique and exciting. I have opened myself to a new world and ideas, met new people, and experienced different things I would have never done as my old self. I had mentioned before that I had been amazed at how easy my transition has been to this point. I have been very fortunate that I have not dealt with some of the issues other trans people have dealt with.
Last week, I was at a conference where I saw many people I had not seen in years. Every one of them was understanding and supportive. The new people I met will never know me by my old name; I will always be Alla to them. A few people wanted to know if they could ask me only a few questions. I informed them that I was willing to talk about anything. Once they had that OK, they asked many questions. One person said that I was brave and even said a hero. I consider both those items untrue, in particular the second. I have not done anything to further the cause, but even if I did, I would be doing something that needs to be done. As far as being brave, well, I guess an argument could be made, but from my point of view, I am the person I was meant to be. Last week someone asked in a support group. “have you ever had a part of your old self that your struggling with to let go of ?” I responded with “When I decided to come out as transgender, I still struggled with my presentation and what others thought. Once I let go of the idea of being passable I was able to become my true self.” Is that brave? I will let you decide; it is only being comfortable in my skin.
This has taught me that I need to get more involved in the community to try and help others with anything they might be struggling with. I do not have the answers, but I can express what my journey has been like and what I have learned along the way.
Alla Davis
